


Waiting

by eledhwenlin



Category: Harry Potter - Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-12-24
Updated: 2005-12-24
Packaged: 2017-10-12 06:06:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/121649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eledhwenlin/pseuds/eledhwenlin





	Waiting

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sazzlette](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=sazzlette).



Even years later, Remus couldn't recall all of it. He supposed that he didn't really want to - memories of those times hit too close to home, hit too close to memories of Sirius living with him. Things he'd rather not think about. But the dark winter night outside reminded him so much of that one night that his mind took him on a trip down Memory Lane without his bidding.

They had been waiting. In retrospect it seems like they spent most of their time waiting back then. Waiting for the right moment to attack, waiting for the members of the Order to return (hopefully all right), waiting for the next attack launched at them.

It had been a strange assignment from the start - nobody really did question Dumbledore, but to send Alice Longbottom and Sirius Black out on a simple find-and-retrieve-mission together? There had been whispers and raised eyebrows, although there hadn't been any openly voiced objections.

So now Remus was sitting in the Longbottom's kitchen, together with Frank, both waiting for their spouses to return. Although nobody had ever said anything to them, Remus knew that most of the members smiled down upon Sirius' and his relationship, that they were joking about who was the woman and who was the man - only they didn't really question Sirius being the boss in this. It ought to irk Remus - he knew that Sirius was irritated by it, but he opted for being calm and just letting the whispers wash over him. He was used to them by now and didn't worry too much anymore. At least school had been useful for that.

Staring down at his own cup of tea, he had been lost to his thoughts. Because of this he hadn't noticed Frank inching closer and closer, hadn't noticed him twitching nervously. In fact, he hadn't noticed him at all, until Frank had poked his arm. Remus had looked up, feeling slightly confused, and he still remembered how uncomfortable he had felt, when Frank had been so close. The next thing he remembered was looking into those eyes and being lost. In those eyes, there were the same emotions that kept his own mind busy, that kept him awake at night, when Sirius was gone. He saw the same deep longing and the desperate clinging to hope that was needed, if they wanted to make it through the night - first the night, then the week and they all hoped they'd make it through the war, too. It was so hard to believe sometimes, especially during the weeks, when they lost someone from their ranks every week to the Death Eaters.

In happy times you're comfortable with playing the unknown, but in times of need, in times of darkness and misery you go with those similar to you. There was too much recognition of himself in Frank's eyes and that was the only explanation he could allow himself for a long time. But when Sirius was gone, when he was _really_ gone, he finally understood the pact they made in that one long, dark winter night.

Now all that is left to him are those memories - memories of being with Sirius and the one memory of being with Frank. It only happened that once. Sometimes he felt sorry for it, felt sorry for it to have happened at all, but then he was also sorry that it had only been that one time.

In the end he stands alone. And this time he really is alone and the rest of wizardhood with him. Only a young boy stands between them and Voldemort's dark reign and he wonders whether he should be afraid. But then he looks out of the window again and remembers one winter night from long ago. He should be ashamed that this one incident can give him so much hope, but beggars can't be choosers. Sighing, Remus wonders whether he'll make it through.


End file.
